Why Moms Yell!

Have any of you ever heard this question from your little cherubs, "mom, why do you yell?"  I really never wanted to be a mom that yelled.  You know the one I mean.  You've seen them in Target and Copps yelling at the their naughty kids with dirty clothes with dirty faces.  The moms you are afraid to make eye contact with in their fit of rage fearing you may be their next victim?  The moms you see and wonder how God came up with his grand plan of breeding?    Well, I'll admit it.  I YELL!  Step one of my recovery process is admitting what you do (or something like that) so here goes again ---Yep, I YELL!  I don't do it daily, or even weekly, but every now and then it happens.  I hate yelling so I thought I'd write a post about it hoping to hear that you, too, yell. 

I had a stressful morning today and yelled at my kids.  I hate yelling in the morning.  I feel guilty all day that I ruined my kids entire day.  On my way to work, I began pondering reasons why mom's yell. Grab your caffiene and hang on.  I've compiled my short list for you:

 Reason 1:  Kids do stupid stuff and we wonder to ourselves, "Did I do this stupid shit to my mom?" 

Here's my visual illustration of this reason. 

My daughter's dresser that I asked her to pick up!  Should beauty products and garbage be mixed in the same pile?  My kids thought:  "Mom is going to go balistic when she sees my dresser but maybe she'll pick it up after she yells."







Really, we can't get the laundry into the basket which is ONLY 1 foot away?
My kids thought:  "Mom needs to wash my dirty clothes, so she'll pick it up."









Can anyone else see the the bathroom wastebasket is full?
My kids thought: "Mom isn't going to let garbage take over the bathroom so she'll empty it."

Reason #2:  Being a mom can be overwhelming!
I think it's safe to say we've all been there.  Too many irons in the fire, not enough time to get everything done, and EVERYONE needing a piece of you.  Let me expand on this point for those of you who might not get the 411 on reason #2.  I was gone all weekend to a volleyball tournament.  I tried to at least get a little work done at the tourney, but was too engrossed in watching and learning volleyball.  When I returned home completely spent  after a horrible drive in freezing rain that took 4 hours instead of 2, my teething baby with snot pouring out of his nose was anxiously waiting for 100% of my love and attention.  My middle daughter needed to tell me every single detail about the weekend birthday party she attended.  I timed it - she talked 43 minutes NON-STOP. My ears may have actually been bleeding!  Throw in laundry --- unpack bags --- organize house --- check email for work --- bedtime books and bottle --- ah, 8:45 - my time!   Nope, forgot about the dog.  He needs a few treats and some petting --- ah, 9:00 pm.  I can review my notes for my 8:30 a.m. lecture.  Nope, kid with a headache --- tylenol, pep talk, bedtime, again!  9:15 pm --- dog needs to go outside!  9:30 pm --- I collapse in a heap ---surrender --- and hope for the best in the morning.

Morning comes - I run around all morning and my kids don't do the simple tasks that I ask.  I lose it --- I YELL!

Reason #3:
Crazy sports parents YELL!
Now, let me say there is good yelling and bad yelling at your kids sports events. I want to be the positive and encouraging parent.  The one that wants their kid to have fun, love the sport, and improve their skills.   Do I need to draw you a picture of the parent we DON'T want to be.  Again, you know the one I mean.  She yells at EVERY call the ref makes --- when her kid ISN'T in the game ---when her kid IS in the game  --- when her kid scores a point --- when her kid DOESN'T score a point --- when her kids team loses (it's everyone's fault) --- and even when her kids team wins!  She can even have her kid in tears.   I've found these parents can be downright nasty.  They are in it to win it and nothing else matters. I wonder if these parents EVER talk to their kids about the love of the game, the importance of teamwork, and the ethics of being a good sport.  I'm making a broad statement here - and you can feel free to disagree with me - but the parents I have seen in gymnastics and volleyball that act like this are from of the MOST elite club teams in the state.  My assumption is they want their kids to get a division 1 scholarship and they pay a lot of money to support their kids, therefore, they can yell? 

Reason #4:  Sometimes we just get mad!
This one probably only applies to me.  Let me set the stage --- picture this ---  I had a few things on my plate.  My baby was recovering from a hand injury and was just home from a short stay in the hospital.  My husband threw out his back shoveling and basically couldn't move...which really means he couldn't help with the kids.  I'm driving home from work in my BRAND NEW mini-van on  a snowy day.  Yes, I did say mini-van.  I traded in my Highlander and bought a good ol', family-lovin mini-van.  As cool as it ain't, I love it!  I approached a stop light, the light turned yellow, I stopped (being the law abiding citizen that I am.)  I'm waiting at a red light when someone barrels into me from behind going 35 mph --- IN THE SNOW --- and hits my new mini-van.  I jump out of my van and YELL!  I don't just mean raise my voice - I was in a full-fledged, outright YELL.  I yelled as loud as I could at a nice, young businessman on his way home to have lunch with his wife.  (She probably doesn't yell).  This poor guy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He got a serious talking to about driving too fast in the snow!  Not only did I yell, but I realized I sounded like a tried and true mother!  My words were the kind of words I would have heard my mom say.  I think he may have went home, cowered in a fetal position, sucked his thumb, and asked his wife to never yell at him.  I have to tell you that it wasn't my proudest moment and I did apologize to the young man.  Amazingly he wouldn't make eye contact with me after I yelled at him.  I'm pretty sure he was waiting for my eyes to turn green and my head to spin around.   

So, I guess yelling is a part of being a mom.  We don't want to yell.  We even try hard not to yell.  We just want to be the best parent we can be.  We learn everyday through trial and error and at the end of the day, we just do the best we can whether we are yelling, talking, whispering, hugging, crying or laughing.